And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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