What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
