you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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