I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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