I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
