Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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