i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
time to smoke my breakfast
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
