yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
