On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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