good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
