You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
