I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
