google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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