literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
