Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now