I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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