thus making me awesome and them whores
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
