i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am available for nakedness
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
