i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
