We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize