wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
