i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
