Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
