I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
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I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize