You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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