Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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