i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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