drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize