Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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