I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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