Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
