Just fell off a train. Bad.
barbara walters just said penis...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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