Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
