Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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