I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize