We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
