is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
