Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.