Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed