So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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