She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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