This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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