i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
