His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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