ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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