yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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