Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize