i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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