to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
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I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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