so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
