I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
