why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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