yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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