I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
