Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
