Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
