Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
