1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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