I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
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Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME