I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.