dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants