Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
