just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize