Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
